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Private Dancing
"Private Dancing" is a mini-story that is part of the EMPATH: The Luckiest Smurf story series. The Story One night about some years before Empath's final return from Psychelia, Smurfette was sitting by herself at the counter of Tapper's Tavern, enjoying her drink order before she turned in for the night. Tapper noticed Smurfette's expression as he served his customers that night. "My dear Smurfette, is everything all right with you on this evening?" he asked. "I'm all right, Tapper," Smurfette answered. "It's just that I'm getting used to the things that my fellow Smurfs do in private when they are by themselves, that's all." "Which private things are you talking about, if I may be so bold to ask?" Tapper asked. "Well, I'm aware that most of the male Smurfs are attracted to me, and they desire to be married to me, and they need some way to deal with their desires so that they don't smurf anything to harm me," Smurfette said. "We're all creatures of fleshly passions, Smurfette," Tapper said. "Even I would have to admit that of myself, lest I smurf the false impression that I'm somehow greater than my fellow Smurfs in areas that are common to most Smurfs my age." "Well, why is it that when they're by themselves in their houses at night that I hear music smurfing from their houses, and it's that same song over and over?" Smurfette asked. "You mean that song that goes 'dancing with myself, dancing with myself'?" Tapper asked. "You're aware of that song too?" Smurfette asked, sounding surprised. "I constantly hear that song myself when I am sleeping and I am wondering if that Smurf is smurfing a party with other Smurfs that is not appropriate for a Smurf to hold in the middle of the night, only to find out that it's just them smurfing by themselves with their own private rituals," Tapper said. "But you don't smurf that song when you...uh, smurf that...private moment with yourself?" Smurfette asked, sounding a bit uncomfortable to ask the question. "I usually focus my attention on the Almighty in those moments when the desire to be with you oversmurfs me, and I smurf songs of praise unto Him for the wonderful things that He alone smurfs when I need to...uh, satisfy those urges without harming you, Smurfette," Tapper said. "That's rather interesting to smurf from you, Tapper," Smurfette asked. "It's very brave of you to even mention this to me." "The Almighty's Son, when He smurfed to mankind about how they were to deal with lustful desires, said that if your eye smurfs you into sin, you should smurf it out and cast it away from you, for it is better than one of your members should perish and not for your whole body to be smurfed into Gehenna," Tapper said. "He also smurfed the same thing for when your hand or foot smurfs you into sin." "That sounds very extreme smurfing from Him, Tapper," Smurfette said. "The point of it smurfs to what Paul the apostle said to the Romans, Smurfette, that the flesh with its desires should be crucified, smurfed to death, so that God's Spirit can live in each one of us, so that we will not sin against the Almighty by smurfing what the flesh desires," Tapper said. "Each one of us is responsible for what we smurf with these fleshly vessels that the Almighty has smurfed us with, because they are temples for the Almighty, and He cannot dwell in vessels that are not fully smurfed unto Him for His use and purpose." "So what do you use when you, uh...dance with yourself?" Smurfette asked. "I usually smurf a spare pillow in those private times, my dear Smurfette," Tapper answered. "It's probably the closest thing I have to smurfing a body when it smurfs to those moments when I smurf those desires to be with you. But again, I focus my attention on the Almighty, that He will deliver me from the imprisonment of these desires when the time smurfs for me to be with Him for all eternity, unless it's His desire that I should be married to you." "I still admire your bravery in mentioning this to me, Tapper," Smurfette said. "I'm not sure every Smurf would be that willing to smurf that kind of information to me." "I don't intend to advertise my desires for you like certain other Smurfs, but I think it's fair of you to know that about me, Smurfette," Tapper said. "I can only imagine what other Smurfs would use in their private moments, but my friend Duncan can sense those times whenever they smurf their own laundry, and Tidy pretty much knows when he has to smurf the job of doing laundry for others. We try not to make a big smurf out of it, because we know it is simply part of a Smurf's nature." "But that makes me wonder what I would smurf if I start having similar desires for a male Smurf to...uh, dance with me," Smurfette said. "I do not know much of female Smurf anatomy to smurf you a suitable answer for that question, my dear Smurfette, but I would in your place exercise caution and wisdom for whenever those desires oversmurf you in those private moments," Tapper said. Just then, Duncan McSmurf joined Smurfette and Tapper at the counter with his glass of sarsaparilla ale. "Sharing a bit of personal information between the two of you on this night of nights, are we?" Duncan asked. "We were discussing this...dancing that the Smurfs do by themselves in the night, which is all I'm going to smurf about it, my fellow Duncan," Tapper answered. "Ah, yes, this private dancing," Duncan said with a snicker. "I'm sure that it must be entertaining for the lass to know how much her fellow Smurfs think of her when that bit of Smurfliness rises up in them in the wee hours." "I was just curious, Duncan," Smurfette said. "Not that I need to know every single detail of what a Smurf does with his own, uh...dancing." "I'm just as guilty as any other Smurf here of this dancing because, you know, I'm a Smurf and I can't help it," Duncan said. "Though I prefer the tune of my own ancestral clan over what the young pups of the village prefer to sing when they smurf their own dances." "Don't tell me you smurf the bagpipe when you have those moments, Duncan," Smurfette said. "Me, smurf the bagpipes when I smurf my dance? Never, my sweet lass, lest I would disturb the others when they are sleeping," Duncan said. "Besides, it doesn't smurf up my Smurfliness in the way that I would want it to be smurfed when I am smurfing those desires of being with a lass." "But he does smurf his own music, if I may be so bold as to speak for my friend those things he would rather smurf to himself, my dear Smurfette," Tapper said. "I would be curious to know about that kind of music from your ancestral clan, Duncan," Smurfette said. "All in good time, all in good time," Duncan said. "I just wouldn't think it appropriate for you to know about such private joys when we're not smurfed together as Smurf and wife." "You don't think I would like listening to what you call your 'private music'?" Smurfette asked playfully. "I wasn't thinking that of you at all, my dear," Duncan said, sounding like he was taking some offense at that statement. "Why would you think that I would smurf something that you would find too unsmurfy for you to hear if I were to sing it?" "I don't know, Duncan," Smurfette said. "It's not that I always fantasize about what it would be like to smurf with you alone in your house." Tapper cleared his throat. "Well, I think this topic has smurfed on far enough for tonight, my friends. I'd say we leave the private dancing alone and focus on more edifying things that are pure and noble." Duncan chuckled. "Far be it from me that I should smurf on that subject in front of a pure saint and the object of his affections." With that, he took a long sip of his sarsaparilla ale. Category:Empath the Luckiest Smurf stories Category:Mini-stories Category:VicGeorge2K9's articles Category:Stories with mature content